Around Australian workplace tearooms today, I can imagine hundreds of thousands of nearly identical conversations taking place, some between people that wouldn’t normally even chat. It happened to me – I was engaged by a person with whom I seem to share a mutual disinterest in (is that the correct grammar?), and we yapped it out for ten minutes about the drama of last night’s World Cup game vs. Japan. I’m not a seasoned soccer watcher – as evidenced by my use of the word soccer instead of the currently fashionable “football”, but like the last few nights I stayed up till 1am yesterday to vibe up on the atmosphere of the World Cup and the blessed sunshine of the European summer. In the more pedestrian moments of the game before THE UNEXPECTED BURST OF THREE GOALS IN EIGHT MINUTES, my eyes would wander across the wash of colours in the crowd. A sickly Kim staggered out into the loungeroom, unable to sleep and asked why the stadium was half empty, and I had to explain that in soccer. it seems to be the norm for the fans of one country to: a) Sit together b) Sing togther c) Wear an identical team jersey, so from a distance, it appears that fans are empty seats. I noticed it most obviously in the Holland game, where exactly the same shade of awful artificial orange was on display everwhere. And I say this despite them being my second favourite team because dad happened to be born there in the middle of WW2. I like orange, but it seemed a bad shade of it, or was it because their shorts were more of the same. The pants needed some Telstra blue to my eye – it would cut down on the grass stains too. So, we won, yadda, yadda, and I had to turn the TV off immediately to stop myself hearing the gushing patrio-speak that at times makes me want to spew. Speaking of which, having to endure Kim Beasley’s “do us proud” spiel at half time was a challenge also. It’s such a fine line for me. It was a lovely feeling to have an unexpected win, and it more than made up for me losing the bidding war for the Fiddler on the Roof sheet music book on Ebay earlier in the evening. I was even imagining myself playing and singing along in my best Russian accent.